I was thinking through this morning while making my way to work. I thought of my dad being disappointed with my mum because she can't meet his expectations as a wife, therefore it resulted the way it is till today.I think about it, my mum not able to meet my dad's expectations, is it my mum's fault? Actually no, it is my dad problems. I understand that being husband and wife, you will expect you spouse to meet certain requirements that you desire that he/she is able to meet it to satisfy your need. But thinking about it, if your wife can't meet it, means she can't, you can't expect everyone to think the same way as you do.Then i was thinking, so how, what if this thing happen to me, we sure to have certain expectation set for our partner or may not have for some people. If it happens, how should i manage it? Lower your expectation or set no expectation, but that equal to compromising your self-expectation for others.
i was once such demanding person too, until some time then i realized everyone see things differently, we should accept them for who they are. Equals to amending your expectation. Revising it to a standard where you can accept it. Till now i can't say whether i will have any expectation set for my wife. But i think is not necessary to set any expectation, because all my buddy, best friends, friends, they come without any expectations set for them. if i can accept them for who they are, and they can become important people in my life, there shouldn't be any exception for my wife. I will still accept her for who she is. Maybe some might say, lifetime partner and friends is different. So what if you really expect your wife to meet certain expectation that you have set for her to satisfy your needs? but you don't want to end up in disappointment?
To continue with my point, i think my dad got to realize that till date, our family has turn to this stage, it is his problem of not able to manage his expectation properly. and he is the one suffering now, because he cannot accept my mum for who she is.
So i done some research, and i realize we human almost set expectation for everything in life, for example, when you go to IKEA to shop, you expect friendly staff to assist you whenever you need help, but if you encountered someone who got a suck attitude and who gives you the wrong information that causes you to go round and round around IKEA, This pathetic customer is sure gonna complain and rant all the frustration he got from our staff to the manager.This happen in IKEA occasionally.(Anyway just a little joke and memories for my IKEA friends. haha.)
According to the research, 3 steps to set your expectation on people.
Step 1: Define a list of expectation you have for this person.
Step 2: Support your expectations with evidences of why this person can meet up to your expectation. (if you cannot find any evidence to support, you realized that you are setting it too high, if you can find evidence and support, good for you.) And you realized step 2 is like social-studies!
Step 3: Revise your expectation, if you have setting it too high.
Yes.that it!
To conclude, People got to realized everyone is different, we can't expect everyone to think the same way as us, see the same way as we do. Accept them for who they are!
References to the research: http://www.tipsonhealthyliving.com/health-and-wellness/are-your-expectations-out-of-line-with-reality
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