In the midst of everybody dreams

Originally, I set my NS goals to be able to pass IPPT test. Throughout struggles, still unable to do it, due to my irregular pull-up regime. 3 more months to go, 3 weeks to end of physical training phrase. I want to be able to pull up. Need to start this pull up regime daily. Meaning to pull the bar before I go sleep everyday. I didn't have dreams for OCS. I have a dream to go military police. The drill aspect of military police. Being officer is higher pay, but really not my forte. I'm better follower than leader. I seriously a bit gone. My mind is full with so many pressure. Pressure to pull my first pull up, pressure to pass my ippt. Pressure to book out on time when all ippt passes book out. A desire to become a drill subject method expert. But to all my desire, I got to pass my ippt. To have a stand in the platoon, of course I have to pass my ippt first. To let the people see, they can do it, I can do it. But seriously, another bit of my inner self is a damn slacker. The one which always procrastinate, "aiya, never mind la, next time then do", "very tired leh, next time la, i just done some training earlier, trained hard enough" bits of procrastination is killing enough. I really got to use some very powerful reason to back up all these procrastination I'm facing whenever I want to work hard. Weihong and Zhen Zhao inspired me a lot. They work really hard. Pushing themselves to the limit. Where to muscle intention go up, when their arms have totally no strength, then they give in. Mind over body. Mine is the other way round. Body over mind. physical fitness? It's isn't easy. But if I were to have a strong mind to conquer my body. I would really success. Whenever I feel like giving up, I always thought about aaron giving me the encouragement in npcc times. "Down, 1 more only, hang on only!" he would stretch out his legs to support my falling leg. My buddy, my life. Army days made me remember this precious moment which I forgotten long time ago. If Aaron is there when I'm hanging on the pull up bar, "he would be shouting, go up one more!" I eventually would push and go it up. Now I would need to find my this buddy in army. The one who would encourage me when I'm falling. Those moments.

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Thoughts 3

Something that I learnt in NS. "Doing something that can gives oneself a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction" something that can make one feels good when doing or after doing it, perhaps doing something that makes one feel rewarding after doing the task. Where did I get this revelation? From my physical training, training is tough, but after exercising, sweat all over the body, knowing that it's worth it. Muscle will grow, fat will lose. Sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. Believe that this apply to life also, with the sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, it's keeps one going. Even if doing it again and again. Work should be like this too. Although it's routine, but as long as they received something from doing it. It's good, on the psychological side.

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Self-centred thoughts?Thoughts 2

See my blog view so low, kinda sad sia. lol. Happy still, 4 days of bookout eh. 4 days outside leh. Do you know how long this weekend is? More than 36 hours eh. In a normal circumstance there will be only > 24 hours of bookout time. bookout on a saturday, book in on a sunday. A long weekend. What's the in-thing that i have improved for my ippt? Shuttle run, Standing board jump, running of 2.4 and sit up. Although majority of the stations haven pass yet, but yeah. There's still improved. For shuttle run, from 11.2s to 10.8s. The technique, i'm still learning, to be able to break and turn immediately. The breaks are causing my delay. Standing board jump improved from 180 to 198. 216 to pass it. still learning the technique. Running of 2.4 improved from 14.22 to 11.44. This tremendous improved thanks to weihong for passing me his tips for running from his physical instructor. Breathing technique "in-in-out, in-in-out" pretty hard to describe it, but it has helped me to pass my 2.4 run. Sit-up from 33 to 46 reps. Pull up? Still no improvement la. Everytime do pull up regime, never try my best ar. mindfuck, it kept telling me that i can't do. Until then, recently i do the pull up assistant, i pull the weight at a weight that will stretch my muscles, then i realised all along when i do my pull up regime, i never activate my back muscle, all along is using my triceps and biceps only. That's why i'm not improving. will continue to work hard. expect my ippt to fail this coming tuesday already. which means from next week onwards, book-out will be on saturday. because we will need to stay back and exercise more. but, don't worry on it. one day i will pass it. My sections mate has been telling me to eat less everyday. from the beginning, i will add more rice everytime until now, i no longer add rice, but eat half portion of the given. yeah. stomach getting smaller. because i hope >body weight can aid the helping of pull up. must control myself from eating too much while out. before my ns enlistment, i kept saying to myself, "no matter what, book out time, i gonna eat a lot." but yeah, the mentality has changed. for the ippt. Don't think NS no stress hor. We always go test one, like examinations like that. We need to pass ippt test, SOC(Standard obstacle course) test and field camp. no pass all these? need to recourse the whole basic military training school course. no play play. see the tension yeah? so long never blog, my sentences structure also buang liao. so many commas and fragment sentences. something else more lighter. my process with the receptionist. yeah. No improvement la. she a busy girl, can't be my entertainment. entertainment meaning someone i can talk to, chat with etc whenever needed. We don't click la. fact la. LKK, accept it. lol. but seriously sometimes in ns quite sian one. turn on the phone, "No text, no phone calls." wah. utimate. So sometime i just wish that i can press this magic button and start to talk cock with this girl about stuff. yeah. female mates. Stop being despo LKK, or you are not gonna find one! other than that yeah. in army, when different people come together, you will see the different faces every person has in certain time, scary. should not elaborate. other than that. motivated to grow fitter each day. My sister relationship with shaohao? in a mess. i see the footsteps of my past. sigh ar. can't help ar. i hate to say can't help. but really, the relationship between two person need both party to work together to make it better. well, NS is good in some ways that it kept the mind occupied with stuff. so the brain won't be keeping those unwanted junks. The society? still the same. i scroll through facebook, people are still the same. society feeds are fill with junks sexual related and critism stuff. yup yup. i expect some changes in it, however when i go back in the civilian world, it kinda pull back my memories of the image of this society in my mind. yeah. shouldn't look into the negative side right? shall look more on the positive side. ;)

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The antidote

It's a interpersonal mixture of feeling. Stepped into this phase of life. It's give a sense of goal and target to work towards to. To pass ippt, to grow fit. None the less. It's make me think less about stuff. Army give a sense of purpose and accomplishment. It's make every one feel good about itself. "Give it your best in whatever you do, be the salt and light for God, in the marketplace." I'm really kinda drifting away from presence of God, not going church for a week. Yeah, I really kinda miss the cell group meeting and members. But I gonna miss it again today, because I really want to pass my ippt shuttle run. Where another phase coming, I'm pretty sure it's from Holy Spirit, "Trust in God, and everything will be fine" but I'm can't let it down. Because I really want to pass it badly. A urge so strong, because of the pressure to pass it. None the less, I'm still going church tomorrow. I'm really worry about church too, My Home Church, I don't know what's going on. Is it part of God's plan. Ippt or church? Both, just that I address church later. Pray.

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First post on NS

Blogger interface has changed quite a lot since i last posted on the blogger website. i love the current moment i feeling now. Every happy and contented, although a only have barely > 48 hours after my second bookout. Every much comes from the time spent from bookout till i book in again. I bookout on a saturday morning, have mac breakfast and slept for a short while, off to JB after 3pm yesterday.It's fun to go out to another country, although it's just for a short while. But the scenes saw is different from the familiar ones. One deep impression that strucks me when i saw children clearing plates at a local sea food restaurant located somewhere near the seaside area. Those who are clearing the plates are malay girls,i'm sure they are definetely below 15 years old. A bit heartaching. To compare the differents lives singaporeans girls with age the same as them. Typing half-way through, comes a message from my 8 years of bro"Hey bro !! Am so in love(: omg. Finally I found back the feeling (:" See him being so happy, i also happy from him. Back to where i stopped. Many things in lives we see, pathetic as it is, but often not having the power to changed it. In the heart,"I hope.", Hoping things will change for them. Things are happening all around, Singapore, Malaysia, India, Africa. Even in sg, those tissue seller and beggers asking for money. Knowing that things are not perfect, Bad things are happening around.Happy that i know the God. The creator. Prayers thats keep things going. GTG already. Got to reach pasir ris at 850. Hope you all like this chinese songs.

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