Reflections for this book out(23/09/12)

Somehow, I don't feel the closeness of army, the bond of platoon one. In the midst of believing in sowing and building relationship. Being the one who can bring the every individual together. It's isn't easy, it's like workplace. Meeting people, everyone we met, we might not like. But guess what, the in-depth theory of building relationship is display high level of interest in the individual. That's how relationship starts. Still, I will keep a positive aspect towards it. The thought of my csm, a little bit fearful of him. Inferior feeling. Because of the blur me in camp. He has some impression of me. But hold on, press on. And not give up and giving in to that impression he has. Got to renew my mind against the mindset. Yeah. Trying my best to shake of that image. While in other aspect. In NS, I kinda understand myself more. My characteristics and personality. Some of the weakness:
Giving up easier and doing half-standard work. I always do things to meet the requirement and I will give up or stop trying that hard. To really understand that attitude. It's not gonna bring me far in life. Or should I say, I should strive to be better. My latest vision is to become a better person. Being someone who gives the 100% in everything I do. In return to realise the full potential in every given task. To see what I'm made off. Seeing the work of 100%. And striving to be the salt and light of the world. Answering and fulfilling one of the core values in Every Christian. On the other hand, I want to see another side of me. A confident and courageous me. A brighter future! I need some sermons backup. It's time to standup and be the salt and light for God and bringing the best out of me. The pondering thoughts for this book out. Because I realised I haven really been giving may best. I want to try doing that. And to see the works of 100%! Not really sure of doing that. But holding in on to this vision of mine! Faith hope love, most importantly, love!

Share

Random post in camp

In the bunk having free time. pretty nice and relax. while im thinking to blog as much as possible. today we have quite a interesting activity with my section mates. Take out a piece of paper, drew the outline of my palm on both sides. And write my name on top and pass the paper around the circle for my section mates. one side will write the good point of me, the other side will write the bad side of me. pretty interesting. Some of the things that my section mates wrote, the bad side. "fat." Good side has pretty much better comments, "hardworking, friendly, nice guy 91 etc" actually i expected more things on the bad side of me.actually not having them telling me, i know the bad side of me.
"NATO No Action Talk Only"
"Not putting in 100% in training"
"Lazy"
"Poor in physical Fitness"
"Not working hard enough"
And one of my section mates commented:"have the won't fall out face, but when doing training,do half standard"
And i was all along like this. from secondary school until poly until army. Saying that i will train hard, but till then. still not working hard enough.
My tummy says it all.
Another side of me telling me, everyone got the strength and weakness, just that my weakness is physical fitness.
3 more weeks to pop, i gamble on my own to take the consequences if i don't pass ippt.
i believe in self-motivation, when it comes, everything will change.
apparently its hasn't really arrive. Don't judge me, because i'm unique.

Share

Exercising

Exercising is a very amazing activity. Although I failed my ippt, but miracles-sly I feel damn good and awesome about myself. It's seem that the big problem that i worry seem much much smaller. Feel damn great about it. Can't remember exactly where I heard it, from church or friend. Exercising release a great amount of endorphin in the brain that will make one feels good. Such a good way to release stress. While on my way back to company line, I was thinking to myself, next time I will get a wife who loves to run. Then we can keep fit and stay healthy and bond together. National Service successfully build up my running foundation. I can run pretty well with my breathing technique. Much of a momentum that's keeping the run until its reaches the good. And the amazing thing is when I feel good, started to change my inwards feeling, resulted in a happy outwards expression. And my sections mates saying that I have the look of a pervert, that kind of uncle that will sit in coffees hop in the future and drink beer plus a beer belly. Yeah. Of course not. I often see myself as a successful person, in a formal attire and a briefcase with a nice hair, smiling. It's like a poster in my hardcore memory. Regards ippt. I think people will think that I'm a NATO, No Action, Talk Only. After several PC's interview, I kept giving assurance that I will try my best, but ended up in little result or no improvement. Yah. Sad much. But still stay positive. I'm too positive in some sense maybe. Maybe when the clock strike 12 then I will start to wake up and work my ass off. I really really want, but but but. That kind of me. Isn't attractive at all. Girls often look for stable man of words of promise, capable etc. I'm capable, but not in the physical way yet! I hate to say not in a physical way, because if other people can, I can. I often have this inner struggles when I want to push myself. The solution? Don't think so much and just do. Do it with a goal and a motivation of doing it for my family, giving my best to them. I express myself like a girl isn't it? I feel so. But don't care much. The other side of me. Thank you My God Head, 3 in One. Holy Spirit, Father, God.

Share

Field Camp experience

It's isn't tough, but it's make me realize more things about myself. And learning points that I learnt,through the activities. The defining moment was capturing when I managed to overcome what I thought I'm unable to do it. It's was a task to dig shell-scrape. We are individually allocated to a empty soil land, and are to dig the shell-scrape about our body size and of a certain depth for us to hide well. We are giving 2 hours at the start. When people starting digging, I'm still in the midst of measuring the outline of the shell-scrape. When I starting using the ET stick and blade, I realized the soil is damn hard. My mind already started to give up and even if it given a day for me to dug. I wouldn't have completed it. None the less, I still try my best to dig as much as possible. But the process was slow. Soon after few hours, the commanders gathered us and give us a good lecture. The letter which our parent wrote for us came into place, ignite a spark in us to work hard and doing our best even though we are going through toughness. We got back, dug doubling hard. Kept telling myself, I'm doing this for my family. There always this saying of sowing and reaping. How hard you sow equal to how hard you reap. Actually digging shell-scrape its not that hard, as long as I continue to put in effort. I will see the fruit. It's goes like this. The ground soil has two layers, the hard soil on top, the soft soil beneath. The soft soil is the catch. I got to dug through the hard soil in order to see the soft soil. When the soft soil revealed. Everything will be done much faster, because there another method that can be apply. Using the soft soil to crack the hard soil on top, and the shell-scrape will be soon completed. I guess many things in life is like this, it's seem hard at first, but as long as I persist, I see eventually see the fruits. It's encouraged me greatly. Will remember this experience.

Share